Perfectionism

How's it going, everyone? I realize I am posting this early, but I'm doing it because this Friday is going to be very busy and I won't have enough time to write this out, so I'm doing it now. I hope this week has been kind to you so far.

Today's topic is on an issue that is close to me. Very close to me, it's called perfectionism. The thing is a lot of people make jokes about perfectionists and assume a bunch of things. I am an individual who struggles with expecting too much and there's really nothing funny about it. If you don't associate with being a perfectionist, it's easy to assume people like being overly organized and overachieving. It's easy to think people have their lives completely together and it's all neat and happy. It might be easy to assume people are perfectionists because they have nothing better to deal with and are just bored and overly dramatic. Let me tell you from experience, it's absolutely NOT like that. I do not want to make this a sob story, victimizing myself or being a drama queen but all I'm saying is please have a little bit of compassion before judging others. It's not easy living as a perfectionist. That is why perfectionism is something I want to overcome and get better at accepting whatever comes my way. I want to be able to embrace any situation and let things go instead of getting tied down with every single detail. Life will still be okay if I get an A- instead of an A. Life will still go on if I mix up a couple of words during a speech. Life will go on if my desk ins't perfectly tidy and my clothes for the next day still aren't picked out. Not everything is what it seems when it comes to struggling with perfectionism. I may have rough days, but I am not a victim. I choose to accept what is.

1.) Nobody chooses to be a perfectionist. Don't tell someone to get over themselves and stop what they're doing. Please don't say "you're being overly dramatic" or "I don't get why this matters so much"  It doesn't help at all. Instead it makes it a lot worse. It might make them feel more depressed because they aren't pleasing you and they feel like more eyes are judging them.

2.) Ask if there's anything you can do to help. They might refuse. Sometimes I can be very stubborn about how I think things should be done, but it never hurts to have a friend who can sit and cheer you up. Sometimes taking a break from studying by watching silly youtube videos or a nice movie can help ease stress. Sometimes even asking them to go out for a cup of coffee can make their day so much brighter.

No matter what, please remember compassion is always the best choice. Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird told his children that in order to really understand what someone is going through, you must be willing to walk around in that person's shoes for a bit of time. I understand it is very easy to assume things right away or say snide comments but it can be hurtful. If we all took a little bit of time to understand what our friends were going through, then the world might just be a happier place. Speaking with gentleness will always soften people up. It's amazing what tenderness does.

Have a wonderful rest of your week! It's almost the weekend. You can make it! You're going to do amazing things. Now go and conquer!

XOXO
Chloe